Supporting Boys’ Emotional Growth: Encouraging Empathy, Expression and Emotional Intelligence

When we think about helping children get ready for life, our attention often turns to academic learning or physical milestones. But there’s another key piece of the puzzle that’s just as important — emotional intelligence. That’s the ability to understand feelings, manage them, and express them in healthy ways.

For boys, this aspect of development is sometimes neglected — not deliberately, but often because of lingering ideas about how boys should behave. From a young age, many are led to believe that being emotional is somehow unmanly or weak.

We believe it’s time to shift this thinking. Helping boys grow emotionally supports their wellbeing, builds stronger relationships, and sets them up for a healthier, more connected future.

Phrases like “man up” or “big boys don’t cry” are still heard far too often — and they can have lasting effects. It’s up to us, as parents, educators, and role models, to create spaces where boys can learn that it’s perfectly okay to feel — and to talk about those feelings, too.

Moving Beyond the ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ Mentality

Many of us grew up in a world where emotional expression in boys was discouraged. This stereotype — that boys should be tough, silent, and unaffected — has deep roots in traditional views of masculinity. While we’ve made progress, this belief still shows up in everyday life, from the media to playground banter.

But we now understand how emotional suppression can harm boys’ development. When boys feel pressure to hide their emotions, it can lead to frustration, isolation, and even long-term mental health struggles. In fact, suicide remains one of the leading causes of death among young men in the UK — a stark reminder of the cost of emotional silence (Samaritans, 2023).

Sometimes, these messages are unintentional. A boy who’s upset might be told to "toughen up," while a girl in the same situation is comforted. This subtle difference in how we respond teaches boys that their feelings aren’t valid.

If we’re serious about nurturing emotionally healthy boys, we must be willing to challenge these outdated ideas — and offer a new model for what strength truly looks like.

Helping Boys Name and Share Their Feelings

Breaking down stereotypes is one part of the journey — but boys also need practical tools to recognise and express their emotions. Many boys, especially in early years settings, only have a limited emotional vocabulary. Helping them expand this is vital.

We can start by introducing simple, age-appropriate ways of talking about emotions. Resources like feelings charts or emotion cards with pictures and labels can be fantastic tools to help boys understand the differences between feeling angry, confused, nervous, or excited.

There are also a range of hands-on, playful approaches that work really well:

• Using storybooks that explore emotions through relatable characters

• Engaging in role play or imaginative play to act out emotional situations

• Encouraging drawing, journaling or simple reflections

• Creating regular group discussions (like circle time) to help normalise all emotions

More than anything, boys need safe and supportive environments where they’re encouraged to talk openly without fear of judgement. Whether at home, in nursery, or in school, we can help by slowing down, being present, and guiding boys gently to explore what they’re feeling.

With encouragement and consistency, boys will grow more confident in expressing themselves. Emotional literacy isn’t a one-off lesson — it’s something we build together over time.

Why Male Role Models Matter in Emotional Development

One of the most impactful ways we can support boys’ emotional development is through positive male role models who lead by example. Boys need to see men showing empathy, being kind, and talking openly about their feelings. That visibility sends a powerful message — that emotions are not just acceptable, they’re an important part of being human.

Unfortunately, many boys still grow up without witnessing this kind of emotional openness from the men around them. But that’s changing — more male educators, dads, youth workers and mentors are stepping forward to model what emotionally healthy masculinity can look like.

We’ve seen the difference this makes in early years settings. A male practitioner who talks about his own emotions, listens carefully to children, or helps them process their feelings is doing far more than offering support — he’s redefining what it means to be a man.

Here are some practical ways male mentors can make an impact:

• Talking openly about feelings in child-friendly ways (e.g. “I was feeling a bit worried earlier, but a chat helped me feel better.”)

• Listening without judgement, and validating children’s experiences

• Modelling empathy and gentle responses in everyday interactions

And it’s not just adults — we should also encourage boys to support each other emotionally. Peer mentorship and friendship circles can play a huge role in creating safe spaces for emotional connection.

Final Reflections and What We Can All Do

If we want boys to grow into emotionally intelligent, kind and confident men, we need to give them the tools, language, and safe spaces to explore their feelings from early on. That includes breaking unhelpful stereotypes, teaching emotional vocabulary, and showing emotional literacy in action — especially from male role models.

Each of us has a part to play. Whether you’re a parent, carer, teacher or mentor, your support makes a lasting difference in how boys relate to themselves and others.

At Time to Connect, we’re proud to be part of this journey. That’s why we’ve partnered with Male Childcare & Teaching Jobs to offer boys in our community access to a dedicated mentoring programme. This initiative focuses on key areas such as positive masculinity, career preparation, self-development, and much more — all designed to help boys grow with confidence and emotional awareness.

Together, we’re creating safe, supportive spaces where boys can feel seen, heard, and empowered to be their full selves — emotionally, socially, and beyond.

Let’s keep showing boys that expressing emotions isn’t a weakness - it’s a powerful strength that will serve them for life.