Time to Connect with Our Children: Understanding Parenting Styles and Building Stronger Bonds

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life—work, schedules, errands, deadlines. But at the heart of parenting lies something simple and profound: connection. Taking time to truly connect with our children is one of the most powerful things we can do to nurture their emotional wellbeing and build lifelong relationships based on trust, respect, and love.

But how we connect often reflects how we parent. Our individual parenting style - the way we respond to our children’s needs, set boundaries, and show affection - can shape the tone and strength of that connection. If you’re feeling unsure about how well you’re connecting with your child right now, it might be a good moment to pause and reflect on your parenting style.

Exploring Parenting Styles

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, but understanding the main styles can help you become more intentional in how you show up for your child emotionally.

Authoritative Parenting

What it looks like: High expectations with lots of warmth. Parents set clear rules but are also responsive and supportive. This approach is often seen as balanced - firm but fair.

How to connect: Open communication is key. Let your child know why certain rules are in place and invite their input when appropriate. Encourage their independence by allowing them to make age-appropriate choices, while consistently showing up as their guide and safety net.

Authoritarian Parenting

What it looks like: Lots of rules, not much room for negotiation. This style values obedience and discipline, often with little emotional engagement.

How to connect: Try easing up the rigidity with more open conversations. Let your child share their thoughts and feelings, even if they don’t influence the final decision. Connection doesn’t mean losing control - it means building trust, and that trust can actually improve cooperation over time.

Permissive Parenting

What it looks like: Lots of warmth but very few rules or boundaries. These parents are responsive and kind, but might struggle to say "no" or enforce limits.

How to connect: Children still crave structure. Create gentle routines and expectations, and stick to them with compassion. At the same time, keep the emotional warmth that makes your relationship feel safe and loving.

Neglectful Parenting

What it looks like: Low engagement, minimal interaction. This could be due to stress, lack of awareness, or other challenges. Children might feel alone or unsure of where they stand.

How to connect: Start small. A few minutes of undivided attention each day - asking about their day, sitting together during meals, or joining them in play - can make a meaningful difference. Show them they matter by simply being there, consistently.

Building Stronger Connections, Every Day

No matter your parenting style, it’s never too late - or too early - to strengthen your connection with your child. Here are a few simple but powerful ways to make sure you’re building those emotional bridges every day.

Make Time for What Matters

Life gets hectic, but your presence is more valuable than perfection. Dedicate time each day - even just 10 or 15 minutes - to do something your child enjoys. Whether it’s reading a story, playing a game, building something together, or just chatting over a snack, this uninterrupted time shows your child they’re a priority.

Be Emotionally Available

Connection isn’t just about being physically present—it’s about emotional presence too. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings, and really listen when they do. Resist the urge to “fix” everything right away. Sometimes, a simple “That sounds really tough. I’m here for you” is exactly what they need.

Don’t forget to share your own feelings as well. When we model emotional honesty - within appropriate limits - it teaches our children that emotions are normal, manageable, and nothing to be ashamed of.

Encourage Independence

Connection doesn’t mean doing everything for your child - it means supporting them as they learn to do things for themselves. Give them opportunities to make choices, try new tasks, and solve problems, while staying close enough to guide when needed. Confidence grows in the space between support and autonomy.

Model What You Want to See

Children learn by watching us. If we want them to be respectful, kind, resilient, and thoughtful, we need to show them what that looks like. Handle conflicts with calm, apologise when you make a mistake, and speak to them with the same respect you’d want in return. These moments are powerful lessons in emotional intelligence.

Use Technology as a Tool, Not a Barrier

Technology often gets a bad rap, but it doesn’t have to be a barrier to connection - it can also be a bridge. Watch educational videos together, research a topic your child is interested in, or play a co-op game that requires teamwork. What matters is how you use it. Make sure screen time includes some shared experiences, not just parallel play.

Final Thoughts: Connection Is the Heart of Parenting

Parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. Understanding your parenting style helps you become more intentional with how you interact with your child, but the core of connection always comes back to consistency, empathy, and love.

By making small, thoughtful changes - spending quality time, listening with your full attention, offering support while encouraging independence - you’re not just managing behaviour or getting through the day. You’re building a relationship that will support your child through every stage of life.

Let’s take this as a gentle reminder: no matter how busy life gets, there’s always time to connect.